


Leave Him For Me

by narutoslilwhiskers



Category: Damien (TV), Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Pendragon Returns, Conflicted Merlin, Crossover, Dreams and Nightmares, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Good Ann Rutledge, M/M, Merlin in Denial, Once and Future King, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, war photographer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:43:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9184048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narutoslilwhiskers/pseuds/narutoslilwhiskers
Summary: Merlin finds Arthur in the most unlikely of places, at the most unlikely of times.New York City is a place of life and new beginnings for Merlin and Gwaine but a quick trip to the emergency room for a few stitches turns into something very different. He's met with the sight of the man of his "Destiny" being returned in the form of a Thirty year old PTSD ridden war photographer by the name of Damien Thorn.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First off lets list aaaaall the TW for this fic: attempted suicide- it will not be successful. PTSD for war environments. depression and anxiety. And last but not least Merlin being a little shit haha  
> Keep in mind that Damien is not The Beast or better known Anti-Christ lmao I'm just using his personality, semi-plot and age and whatnot. I was pulled in by Bradley's portrayal of Damien and found myself needing to bring him into the Merlin world.  
> So here you have it, a semi-crossover of Damien and Merlin!  
> I first saw this as being only one point of view but as I started writing it became a bit of both.  
> So very few point of view changes will happen but it won't be constantly just ONE person.

Gwaine is sat in the passenger seat of his car, holding a bloodied towel-wrapped hand to his chest with a look of pure annoyance on his face. He'd ignored Merlin's warnings of, "Don't do it, Gwaine it's a stupid idea." and, "It's going to slip and cut you!" in favor of pushing forward with his drunken display of cooking skills. Including a knife. A rather large one. The woman he'd been trying to impress had instead gone white in the face and quickly excused herself once she was reassured Merlin had things under control.  
"I don't need a bloody Hospital, Merlin." Is his main argument, although it's failing miserably as Merlin himself is quite sure that when his magic isn't enought o heal something a Hospital is absolutely the main choice.  
"You're bleeding all over my car yet you don't think you need a doctor." Sure it comes out a tad harsh but he knows he is right damn it. Gwaine is a stubborn, hard headed man and without Merlin he would have had plenty of misfortunes not taken care of- much like when he was a trouble making Knight of Camelot, Merlin muses, all he's missing is Percival to do it all with him. The thought sets his mood straight. Percival had yet to be found much unlike Gwaine whom he'd bumped into at a pub back home in the UK. He'd been trashed yet he still managed to recognize Merlin from a "dream" he'd been having since he was but a child.  
"Well I got along just fine without one back in the day!" The exclamation has Merlin rolling his eyes. Needn't he remind this man of having Gaius for God's sake.

\- - - - -

What begins as a sit in the ER with a nodding off former Knight of Camelot for a few stitches turns into complete and utter chaos; multiple heads turn as doors flying open to reveal a team of doctors and nurses meet a slightly smaller group of paramedics, frantic words and an unhealthily pale man laying motionless on a gurney. There is not a single second of stillness as they all rush past the front counter and disappear behind doors labeled as, 'Staff Only' but Merlin feels his entire existence come to a sudden stand still.  
Laying on that gurney is a very familiar man, looking older and considerably more haggard than the last time he had seen him. He has darker hair this time round, not quite as vibrant and light but still blonde none the less, and Merlin knows it's him. He would recognize that face anywhere- including in a rush for the hospital apparently.  
The sudden bluster of activity is over before he has a chance to so much as react and he's left sitting on the edge of his chair trying to process what he'd just witnessed.  
The man sat beside him, Gwaine as it were, is clutching his towel wrapped hand to his chest looking just as pale and startled as he says something that Merlin's brain decides not to process.  
"I know I've seen that person before."  
Merlin turns his head in a daze, nods his acknowledgement and returns to staring at the now closed doors.  
"I think that was Arthur."

\- - - - -

Gwaine is sat with a nurse as his injured hand is tended too and although Merlin feels obligated to stay by his side for emotional support he finds himself aimlessly roaming halls in search for...Arthur. He has no idea where he is, no idea why he's there in the first place and although he has waited thousand upon thousand of years he feels like he could not have possibly been able to prepare himself for the moment he laid eyes upon Arthur again. He'd been so positive he would be ready for this, he would be perfectly calm and collected and he would be able to welcome his King back with no hindrances. He was awfully wrong; sweaty palms and quick heartbeat were only two of many sensations he was feeling yet he wasn't even in the other mans presence.  
Yet there he is in all of his unease and nervousness as he peeks behind curtains and discreetly looks over nurses shoulders in search for a name- a room number- anything that will lead him to his other half. He finds nothing and is back on the aimless prowl when he hears a quiet, weak voice coming from a rather secluded area off to the side of the ward he had wandered into. "Mom..." The accent is completely unrecognizable, the tone tired and hazy and unlike anything Merlin had ever heard when it came to Arthur yet he stood planted firmly in the hallway as he watched this man, this person who looked so painfully familiar, call out for someone who was not there.  
Over and over he would mumble for his Mother, ask if she was alright, and it dawned on Merlin that Arthur had not only been denied the love of a mother once but twice. He's so completely out of it that he doesn't seem to acknowledge Merlin's presence at all ever as he takes a few steps closer, feeds his curiosity and reaches out to lightly brush the tips of his fingers along the back of a familiar hand. It lacks the callouses and scars of a warrior, a King, and is instead hooked up to a blood pressure monitor and IV.   
Arthur looks so unlike his past self, so frail and down trod that Merlin actually finds himself being afraid to touch him in fear of hurting him. That was something he never wished for when it came to Arthur; he was so damned strong and thick headed back in Camelot. Not in a million years would he have guessed that he would be standing in a Hospital room with The Once and Future King laying motionlessly with an oxygen canulla and IV's in a goddamn Hospital bed. Not in all of the years of his life had he pictured this moment happening, picturing having to use his magic to snoop through medical files to find out why Arthur was looking like death warmed over - his immediate thought process was cut short as someone came into the ward through the doors looking fretful and absolutely heart broken. The soft thud of a medical chart dropping back into it's spot at the foot of the bed sent Merlin a step back, away from the hand he'd been holding and away from Arthur.  
It was a woman. A beautiful woman, he could easily admit, who came to a dead stop beside Merlin with a strange look on her face. She could easily be his Mother yet he knows that isn't the case. She fusses over him like so, with gentle fingers combing through sweat slick hair and a kiss on his forehead and yet he KNOWS she is not his Mother.  
"I...don't think we've met, how do you know Damien?"  
In fact he gets a rather strange vibe from her. A vibe he has long since learned to listen too. She looks as though she had literally rolled out of bed to get here, eyes rimmed with a telltale red and she looked at him with the eyes of an emotionally drained....well, mother. This was something Merlin had not foreseen happening, something he found to be quite strange. A mother who was not a mother? And to Arthur none the less? All he could do was look at her as she slipped a hand down to hold Arthur's, the one Merlin had previously been touching. She seemed almost as if his presence didn't matter and he understood.  
He had just opened his mouth to respond that he was just leaving, avoiding a possibly awkward situation, a chance to collect his thoughts and regain his bearings when Arthur-...Damien, opens his eyes and looks around like he isn't quite sure if he is dreaming or truly seeing his surroundings. He looks so utterly exhausted that Merlin is tempted to ease him back into sleep but is instead left surprised when a trembling hand reaches up to weakly tug on the oxygen cannula situated by his nose. It stops all thought of talking, both for Merlin and this woman, as she nearly jumps to his side in need to be closer. In need to comfort. She returns to brushing his hair back, gently easing his hand back to his side with a small waver in her lower lip that Merlin recognizes as oncoming tears.  
"Damien, sweetheart I came as soon as I heard..."   
Almost immediately there is a look of realization on Arthur's face, replacing his slightly confused (what Merlin guessed) drug-induced haze. It's a strange, dark expression, one he can easily say he had never seen on Arthur's face before and it plants a seed of doubt in his mind. What on Earth had brought this man into the Hospital and why did he look as though his entire life had been taken from him. This was not the man he had spent so many years of his life protecting and befriending and loving.   
"No..." It's a small sound of grief and torment, a whimper to a voice that is so unfamiliar to Merlin's ears. Glazed blue eyes snap to look at him and suddenly he feels like the world is dropping from below his feet- this can't be HIS Arthur.  
This man is not his other half, this man is everything Arthur despised so much as comparing himself to. This is not a King, this is just a broken man and before he can honestly take it all in Merlin is halfway down the hall with tears stinging at his eyes and a heavy heart.   
So much pain, so much grief, and it was all coming from Arthur.  
He had half a mind to turn around and go through that medical chart, to go back and make everything okay again. Like he used to, like he and Arthur used to.  
Actually acting on it was a tad harder than he thought however, as he turned on his heel and was greeted by the sight of this Not Arthur crying and trying to get away from someone who cared for him. It tugged at his heart strings and closed his throat, had him backing out of his reasoning immediately.  
Instead he opted for the easy way; a quick glance both ways and a quiet whisper of a spell, Merlin was turning into a vacant room with the medical chart reading "Thorn, Damien" in his hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hoho tad of a cliffy there. This fic will be equal parts dark and light. A nice mix of both Damien and Merlin respectively.  
> And yes the future chapters will be much longer than this, it happens to only be a Prologue of sorts.


End file.
